I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize