my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
