she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
