also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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