careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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