Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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