i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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