oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
