I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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