he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
