The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
