Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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