I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
