Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize