I cockslap morals
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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