I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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