That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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