i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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