i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
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You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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