Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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