yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
