So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
