That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
