i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
