We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
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should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
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It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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