btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
