I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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