I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
