So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
