I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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