susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
