He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
