john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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