Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
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