he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
