I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
