found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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