She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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