I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
