took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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