Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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