Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
