I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
