she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?