There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
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Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
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Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard