You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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