I must be too annoying 4 u.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also, beer. Big fan.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
