im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize