I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
