There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
