im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
