he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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