Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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