I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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