Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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