Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
