I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
