some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
