If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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