Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
