Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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