Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
