Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
